Buongiorno from Firenze!
When I saw that we had a blog, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to update you all at once on how life is over here in beautiful Italy. I've been very busy with classes and adjusting to new people and new culture, but things are finally starting to slow down. While the city and the sights are great, we all know that it's all about the company, so it's really wonderful that there are lots of fun interesting people to talk to here. (I miss you all like crazy though, of course. That's a given.)
I wish all my news could be happy, but unfortunately there's been some stuff weighing on my heart lately. I've been really stressed out making decisions for the future these past few weeks. Some of you already know that I'm planning on changing majors. It's not that I don't like the theatre department at Pepperdine, I just know that it's not where I should be focusing all of my time. It hasn't been healthy for me, and there have been times when I have been very unhappy performing - something that I hoped would never happen! So I knew it was time to make a change. Now I still plan on auditioning for everything and being as involved as possible, I just need some separation too.
Now I could say that's the only part of that story...but it's not. Because now I have something else to worry about. There's a chance that I could be taking a year off next year to pursue something that would be really smart for my future, but this opportunity could also cause some serious consequences for me. I'm worried that if I take a step towards my future, I'll be separating myself from the department even more and burning more bridges than I would like.
Basically, I just need a lot of prayer for peace of mind right now and guidance. I know that I need to do what's best for me and my future and my happiness, but I can't help but worry about how my decisions will affect other people. I don't want to disappoint anyone or make people unhappy, and sometimes I let that overpower my need to look after myself. If you all could give me as much support and prayer as possible, I would greatly appreciate it.
I feel so selfish asking for support when I'm the one who deserted all of you to spend a semester in Florence, but that's why I love you guys. I know you'll be there for me even when I'm not around. :] Let me know if there's anything I can do for any of you - I'm in a house full of people more than willing to pray for whatever people need. Love you all! And don't get too stressed during this homestretch of Laramie Project. I'll see you all in April.
-Jillian
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3 comments:
Jillian,
I would like to speak for all of us in the group when I say that there is nothing about the above blog that is in anyway selfish. In fact, I feel so thankful that you know that you have all of us to turn to even when we are oceans apart. I love that we have that bond and hope that it continues to grow. Know that even while you are gone we are missing you and still praying and thinking about you. God will show you the right way. Enjoy your time and trust in Him!
Love you!
Krista (and all small group)
Trey-J,
Thank you so much for writing us! I completely agree with Krista when she said that nothing you wrote was selfish because it isn't. This is why we have the blog! We want to pray for you and support you in any way we can! I'm so proud of you for doing what you have to do. I face that same challenge where I worry too much about others and don't take care of myself. It's so hard to find a happy medium, but listen to Him and to your heart, not everyone else. You are such a blessing in our lives, and we want you to be the happiest you can be! You're in my thoughts and prayers!!! Love you!
Love,
Jo-Jessica
(((hug)))
~kala
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